Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
