he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
We had to coat check the pizza.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
BRING THE BAGELS
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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