I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
