when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
im six kinds of drunk right now
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
