well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
