I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
