just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
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