can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Randomize
