You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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