She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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