I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
