Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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