New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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