How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
