Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
