I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
