Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
