i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
