i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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