Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
