it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
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