i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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