So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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