omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
