Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
