I'm going to jail i love you
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
