We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
