Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
