Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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