Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
