My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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