Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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