everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Randomize
