Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
