Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
