I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
