Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
