am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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