walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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