Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
