My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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