I wannas sexs uuuuu
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Randomize
