This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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