2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
