So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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