so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
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