i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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