Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
