2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
