Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Randomize
