OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Someone shit on the floor
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
