Dual....:-)
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Randomize
