If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
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