Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
she peed on how many people?
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
